


An Eternity Of Kanye West

by FloralEyeBalls



Series: Dumb AU's [7]
Category: Bandom, Fall Out Boy
Genre: College AU, First Meetings, Fluff, I am so funny!, M/M, Printers are Satans helpers, Printing errors, Tumblr Prompt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-16
Updated: 2015-08-16
Packaged: 2018-04-15 00:17:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,916
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4585728
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FloralEyeBalls/pseuds/FloralEyeBalls
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"You're the only other person in the room when I break the printer and I'm panicking" Au</p>
            </blockquote>





	An Eternity Of Kanye West

**Author's Note:**

> When I was in like year 6 I was using the printer before school in the morning and i fucked up and it wouldn't stop printing pages of like really bad 2009 memes and this guy was the only one there and he helped me hide all the pages I printed because we weren't allowed to print pictures at school, we bonded. so shout out to that kid. 
> 
> unbeta'd trash

"Just fucking connect you bastard!" Patrick whispered to his laptop. It was just passed midnight and he was getting really sick of the crappy laptop he rented from the library staff. The damned thing wouldn't even connect to the printer and he desperately needed to print sheet music for his class tomorrow. 

Finally he heard the printer kick into action and he jumped up from the large wooden desk, hoping to grab his printing and get back to his dorm in time to sleep a little tonight. "What the fuck...?" He said out load, reaching the printer and finding like ten whole pages of different sized pictures of Kayne West's face. "I don't think this is my sheet music..."

"Oh they're mine. Sorry, I didn't think anyone else was in here." Came a voice from behind him. Patrick didn't think anyone else was in here either. 

"So you just thought you would print out pictures of Kayne West?" 

"It's for a prank on my room mate, I swear!" He laughed, smiling almost painfully wide. "What are you doing in the library at 1am anyway?"

"Not printing out face shots of rappers that's for sure." Patrick said, handing over the pages from the printer, "I have to print shit for class but I can't get the printer to connect to my laptop." 

"Oh is it a library laptop? They do that, I can connect it if you want?" He offered, still smiling like it wasn't passed midnight in the campus library. 

"Yes please oh my god!" Patrick practically moaned at the thought of getting his shit done and going to bed. 

"No problem." The stranger said as Patrick walked him back to his laptop and handed it over. "All done, just press print and it should be good." 

"Thank you! You're a life saver...ah"

"Pete." He supplied.

"Thanks Pete, I'm Patrick." 

"Pleased to meet you Patrick." He smiled to which Patrick replied with his best shot at a smile. 

Patrick clicked on the print button and waited as nothing happened. "Did it work?" 

"Nope." Pete said, checking the printer, "try again?" 

Patrick pressed print again, and again, and one more time for luck. "Is the printer even on?" 

"Yeah, it worked fine for me?" 

"Why does God hate me?" Patrick whined.

"It'll be okay man, I'm gonna turn it off and then back on and see if that works." 

"Wow you're a real expert."

"You got a better idea, smart ass?"

Patrick shut his mouth and made a "go ahead" gesture. 

When the printer blinked back to life Patrick and Pete both crowded around it, waiting to see if it would work. "preparing to print..." the display screen said. 

"Fucking finally!" Patrick cheered as the machine vibrated violently. 

Out came a page of little Kanye West faces, followed by a full page head shot. "Fuck!" Patrick moaned. 

"It'll be fine! it's just printing the whole queue again because we restarted it, you'll get your stuff soon." Pete reassured. "I'll even let you keep some Kayne faces if you're good." 

Ten minutes, and twenty five pages of Kanye West later, The first page of Patrick's sheet music came through.

"Oh my god! It's happening!" Patrick cheered, way too excited to see his class work. 

"I told you so!" Pete said, pretending he didn't abandon all hope to an eternity of Kanye West fifteen pages ago. 

Patrick held the first page of his five page document, slowly filling with hope that maybe life had meaning after all, God didn't hate him. He could just get the other four pages and go to sleep for maybe six hours if he's lucky. That's when the printer stopped humming happily and made a horrible screeching sound. 

"That didn't sound good..." Pete said.

Patrick tried to grab the second page of his printing out of the machine, if he couldn't have it all two pages would have to do, when the display screen on the printer started showing static before shutting off all together. "It's okay right?" He asked tentatively.

"Yeah!" Pete said too quickly to be true. 

"It just needs to be turned off and then back on again?" 

"Who's the expert now?" Pete grinned and unplugged the printer before starting it up again. 

It was a little slower to start up this time, but when it did it wasted no time before spitting out pages of Kanye West faces. 

"Not again!" Patrick cried. "What the fuck are we gonna do with all these pictures of Kanye West?!"

"You can never have too many pictures of Kanye West, Patrick" Pete said, calmly gathering up all the print outs and stacking adding them to his ever growing pile. 

After a few more minutes it seemed like the printer was speeding up, spitting out ten pages a minute. Pete could no longer keep up, pages of Kanye West faces spilled from the printer onto the ugly carpet. Patrick stood in shock. "What the fuck do we do?" He said, panicked. The printer was starting to run out of ink but it wasn't slowing down. The faces were getting more and more disturbing to look at at the colours became inverted and the ink smudged.

"I don't know! This hasn't happened to me before either!" Pete snapped, desperately trying to clean up the seemingly hundreds of pictures of Kanye West. "Can you cancel the printing?" 

Patrick hit the cancel button on the printer to no success, nothing could stop it. With every passing second it sped up, Patrick grew more and more panicked. They were going to get in so much shit for this. All he wanted to do was print his work and go to bed. Fuck, why him? He hit the cancel button hard, letting out all his frustration, which was apparently a lot because the printer then went flying off the desk it was sitting on and landed on the ground with an unhealthy crack. The machine made a pathetic beeping sound before it's lights went out. One last picture of Kanye West slipped from its mouth. 

"Oh my god, it's dead!" Patrick said frantically, "I killed it!" 

Pete looked up at Patrick from where he was kneeling, previously under the printer but now it sat on its side next to him, open arms full of pages of Kanye West. "Maybe you just stunned it? I'm sure it's okay?"

"It's not Pete! It's dead! I killed the library printer and I'm gonna owe them like...Five hundred dollars!" 

"They never have to know!" Pete said, dropping all the pages on the floor and coming to stand at Patrick's side. "We can just take all our Kanye West pictures and leave." 

"Don't they have cameras?" 

"Yeah but they're not gonna look through the tapes unless we give them a reason too. If we just set everything up like it was before, no one will know that the printer died like this, they'll just think something was faulty and it stopped working. It's at least like eight years old anyway." 

"Okay." Patrick said, considering the plan. "Help me get it back on the desk." 

He and Pete lifted the impossibly heavy printer back onto the desk before inspecting it, the paper catcher thing was broken clean off, the display screen was shattered, and there was a large dent in the left side. This plan was a fucking failure. 

"Have you got duct tape?" Pete asked.

"We can't just fucking duct tape it! It's a printer!" 

"What if we buy a new one and replace it?"

"I'm trying to avoid paying five hundred dollars here."

"Oh that's right...What if we covered it in pictures of Kanye West?" 

"Oh yeah! Great idea! No one would notice that!" Patrick said sarcastically.

"Hey at least I'm trying here!" Pete said. And he had a point, Patrick had kind of just given in to his panic and stopped even attempting to be helpful, he should really think Pete for not bailing on him yet. 

"Okay so let's get duct tape." Patrick decided, heading off in the direction of the librarian's desk, maybe they kept some there?

They didn't find duct tape but they did find a mini roll of sticky tape. Close enough, right? 

"Okay so...lets just tape it up and see what happens from there?" Pete said, biting off a long strip of tape and holding it up to the printer, trying to decide where to start. 

Fifteen minutes of Patrick nervously biting his nails while Pete did his best impression of someone who knew how fix a printer later, and they still had a broken printer. Only now it was a broken printer covered in lumpy sticky tape and the tears of desperate college students. 

"I am so fucked." Patrick groaned. 

"Hey, we are so fucked. We're in this together." 

"I broke it though, you could just leave and I'd get all the blame." 

"Yeah maybe, but I'm not going to. It was my pictures of Kanye West that started this all anyway." 

"Yeah I kinda was." Patrick laughed, "So what are we gonna do?"

"Steal all the lightbulbs in this section of the library and hope no one can see that the printer is fucked?" Pete offered.

"That's so fucking wild, it's never going to work."

"Yeah but we already broke the printer and I need new lightbulbs in my dorm so...why not?" 

"Why not?" Patrick laughed disbelievingly. This dude was insane and Patrick was so sleep deprived he agreed. "Okay, get a chair and we'll steal us some lightbulbs." 

Pete smiled and ran over to the desks to grab the most sturdy looking chairs he could find. 

"Thanks man, for like...everything. I probably would have just cried a lot and payed for a new printer if you weren't here." Patrick said as they walked out of the now dark section of the library, Pete carrying a backpack full of stolen lightbulbs and pictures of Kanye West. 

"You realise you're probably still going to have to pay for a new printer right?" 

"Yeah I know, but it's okay now because you can split the fine with me." Patrick joked. 

"Well can I have your number so I can call you about payment details and stuff?" Pete said as he held open the main exit doors for Patrick. 

Patrick blushed and let out a little giggle, "And stuff?" 

"Mostly the stuff to be honest." Pete smirked.

"Yeah sure I guess" Patrick said, accepting Pete's offered phone and entering his contact details under the name "Printer Killer". 

"So...I'll see you around yeah?" Pete asked when it became apparent they had to part ways.

"Defiantly." Patrick confirmed, "Enjoy your new lightbulbs." 

"They could never brighten my day like you do, Trick" Pete called as he walked backwards away from Patrick. 

"Shut up." Patrick mumbled back as he watched Pete go. 

It was almost four am when he finally got back to his dorm, and he didn't even have the sheet music he needed for class the next day, but somehow he didn't feel too bothered by it. 

"What happened in the library? Librarian Bridgette Smith tells of how she found fifteen missing lightbulbs, a broken printer, and a full page close up of Kanye West in the campus library this morning. Full story on page 4." Was the headline of the school newspaper two days later and Patrick laughed so hard he could barely breathe as he texted Pete a picture of it.

**Author's Note:**

> This was meant to be like 300 words long but I got caught up in how amazingly funny I am.


End file.
